{{prxprp181.jpg}} || PRIDE AND PREJUDICE 181 ||

nor Wickham could she think, without feeling that she had

been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.

'How despicably Tiave I acted!' she cried. -- 'I, who have prided

myself on my discernment! -- I, who have valued myself on my

abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my

sister, and gratified my vanity, in useless or [blameable] distrust. --

How humiliating is this discovery! -- Yet, how just a humiliation!

-- Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly

blind. But vanity, not love, has been my folly. -- Pleased with the

preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on

the very beginning of our acquaintance, I have courted pre

possession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either

were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.'

From herself to Jane -- from Jane to Bingley, her thoughts

were in a line which soon brought to her recollection that Mr.

Darcy's explanation there had appeared very insufficient, and she

read it again. Widely different was the effect of a second perusal. --

How could she deny that credit to his assertions, in one instance,

which she had been obliged to give in the other. -- He declared

himself to have been totally unsuspicious of her sister's attaclv

ment; -- and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's

opinion had always been. -- Neither could she deny the justice

of his description of Jane. -- She felt that Jane's feelings, though

fervent, were little displayed, and that there was a constant

complacency in her air and manner, not often united with

great sensibility.

When she came to that part of the letter, in which her family

were mentioned in terms of such mortifying, yet merited reproach,

her sense of shame was severe. The justice of the charge struck

her too forcibly for denial, and the circumstances to which he

particularly alluded, as having passed at the Netherfield ball, and

as confirming all his first disapprobation, could not have made

a stronger impression on his mind than on hers.

The compliment to herself and her sister was not unfelt. It

soothed, but it could not console her for the contempt which had

thus been self-attracted by the rest of her family; -- and as she

considered that Jane's disappointment had in fact been the work

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