{{prxprp178.jpg}} || 178 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE ||

it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming: 'This must be false! This

cannot be! This must be the grossest falsehood!' -- and when she

had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely knowing

any thing of the last page or two, put it hastily away, protest'

ing that she would not regard it, that she would never look

in it again.

In this perturbed state of mind, with thoughts that could rest

on nothing, she walked on; but it would not do; in half a minute

the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself as well as

she could, she again began the mortifying perusal of all that

related to Wickham, and commanded herself so far as to examine

the meaning of every sentence. The account of his connection

with the Pemberley family was exactly what he had related hinv

self; and the kindness of the late Mr. Darcy, though she had not

before known its extent, agreed equally well with his own words.

So far each recital confirmed the other: but when she came to

the will, the difference was great. What Wickham had said of

the living was fresh in her memory, and as she recalled his very

words, it was impossible not to feel that there was gross duplicity

on one side or the other; and, for a few moments, she flattered

herself that her wishes did not err. But when she read, and

re-read with the closest attention, the particulars immediately

following of Wickham's resigning all pretensions to the living,

of his receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand

pounds, again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the

letter, weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be

impartiality -- deliberated on the probability of each statement --

but with little success. On both sides it was only assertion.

Again she read on. But every line proved more clearly that the

affair, which she had believed it impossible that any contrivance

could so represent, as to render Mr. Darcy's conduct in it less

than infamous, was capable of a turn which must make him

entirely blameless throughout the whole.

The extravagance and general profligacy which he scrupled

not to lay to Mr. Wickham's charge, exceedingly shocked her;

the more so, as she could bring no proof of its injustice. She

.had never heaid of him before his entrance into the shire

 [[178]]