it is not perfect. because few things (besides moms) are;
nonetheless, as a web-page, it comes fairly close, i’d say.
it’s lightweight, so it will not tax your mom’s old system,
which you know is an under-powered piece of pure crap.
it was under-powered even back when you “got rid of it”,
by giving it to her! and that was a few years ago by now.
so when you gonna buy her a good machine anyway?,
instead of making her live with your hand-me-downs?
my goodness — think about how good she was to you!
she always bought you things that were good and solid;
she’d never think of trying to foist used crap off on you.
and there are no “google analytics” in this page either;
why would you wanna have google spy on your mom?
this page does have a drop-shadow; and mom likes it!
(she doesn’t know that drop-shadows are cool no more;
mom never did really care too much what was “cool”.)
and this page has javascript, to make things go faster.
your mom doesn’t know just how slow her machine is.
but she certainly realizes it when “it’s running faster!”
and she likes it when it goes faster; makes her happy.
and it makes you happy to see her smile, it sure does.
plus javascript also lets her easily make the text bigger.
that’s so important because her eyes are “getting older”.
yes, that is how she puts it: “my eyes are getting older.”
it’s never her getting older; just her eyes. love ya, mom!
but it’s not just her eyes; her monitor is a piece of shit.
because, ahem, it used to be your monitor, remember?
and it was a piece of shit for you, even way back then.
one of the reasons you couldn’t wait to “get rid of it”.
by giving it to your own mother. with her “older eyes”.
like the monitor, you’re a piece’o’shit too, aren’t you?
yes there’s a web-font on the page. but it’s just a few
kilobytes, and the thing is, your mom loves this font.
you skimp on the other, to splurge a little bit on this.
the design is classic and simple, so it’s “responsive”.
it’s readable, and that’s very important to your mom.
there are no flashing ads or distracting banners here,
and no swirly hover-effects or scrollbar whizzyness.
just text, communicating a simple, classy message;
simple and classy, just like your mother at her best.
a real web-page, a naked web-page — so look at it!
it’s pure and so beautiful, exactly like your mother.
many of the problems we have with web-pages are
ones that we create ourselves, so we just decided
not to create any problem for ourselves on this one.
web-pages are not broken by default; they begin as
functional, high-performing, and accessible entities.
kinda like your mother. just let ’em do what they do.
hi mom! love you!
lightweight and gradient and picture of jaguar and
background color honeydew her favorite melon